lord Jesus, i confess that this has been difficult. i just don't know how to be. i want to be able to love this person like i'm supposed to, but instead i'm struggling not to be stuck in my old thought patterns and desires. i confess that i still care deeply, but am sometimes confused because i wonder if it is the real person i care about, or a made-up version in my head? i just want to be able to do things for this person that i would do for others, but everything i do is laced with extra meaning and intent--or at least it is perceived so. i'm always so worried about not appearing to be a certain way to others, the ones who know about the situation. i'm frustrated that they know, but i don't know how else i will heal. lord, forgive me for being frustrated.
lord, instead i just release it. i give it up to you. i want to be different and whole and beautiful and not trapped in this old self. i know that instead of focusing on this problem, i should be focusing on my relationship with you. i believe that is getting better, but it is always a daily struggle. i thank you for what you have done in my heart. i think you have made a lot of progress in me--and i pray that i wouldn't be working to will my way into submission, but rather your grace and mercy would ravish me. come, Lord Jesus, and make my will Your will.
i just read some of Erik's blog from Four Oaks about an awkward situation about someone he ran into that left the church. they never really resolved their differences, but Erik was imagining seeing this person in heaven, at the banquet table. they would most likely be the closest of friends, singing hymns together of praise. when he saw this man, he was reading his Bible. so was Erik. how he wished to run up to his brother and greet him with a holy kiss saying, "all is behind us brother!" and he would reply the same. but Erik just left the same way he came. how difficult it is to know when and how to be reconciled! i thank you that there was grace enough to try for reconciling me to this other person. Erik ended his blog with this scripture, that gives me hope:
"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart." 1 Peter 1:22
Amen, Lord Jesus, let it be so!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
a poem by keith
although this wasn't to me (maybe it wasn't to anyone), but posted on someone's facebook wall, I liked it and wanted to keep it here.
My dear bicycling sister, where are the keys to the kingdom?
In the pumpernickel bread under the hamster cage,
or where the window grows dusty at the end of a chilly,
wool scarfened day? I lost them a few days ago, but here they are!
The snow jaguar has secrets in his shoulder blades
and the kingdom of heaven is within your shoe. And the place
where you felt the sky was split in two by storm and green
and the lighthouse was divided. Was there a manatee in your dancing
when the world was young? A face looking through the slow of the day?
I think peace is a thing to say when a old song is sung again.
When we forget holiday decorations of the communist party
to identify with the old wrinkled woman loving Jesus with her hands
around a dying man who thinks his soul once belonged to Leonard
Cohen or even the lead singer of The national when he sang in
the middle of the crowd; a picture of Jesus? Is it heretical to see
a lover in the faces of strangers walking across Landis Green?
I miss the sense of time measured in potlucks and the spaces between.
My dear bicycling sister, where are the keys to the kingdom?
In the pumpernickel bread under the hamster cage,
or where the window grows dusty at the end of a chilly,
wool scarfened day? I lost them a few days ago, but here they are!
The snow jaguar has secrets in his shoulder blades
and the kingdom of heaven is within your shoe. And the place
where you felt the sky was split in two by storm and green
and the lighthouse was divided. Was there a manatee in your dancing
when the world was young? A face looking through the slow of the day?
I think peace is a thing to say when a old song is sung again.
When we forget holiday decorations of the communist party
to identify with the old wrinkled woman loving Jesus with her hands
around a dying man who thinks his soul once belonged to Leonard
Cohen or even the lead singer of The national when he sang in
the middle of the crowd; a picture of Jesus? Is it heretical to see
a lover in the faces of strangers walking across Landis Green?
I miss the sense of time measured in potlucks and the spaces between.
Friday, November 14, 2008
once you know, how can you NOT change?
i recently wrote a note on facebook that was long and in depth about things that are on my heart. there are a lot of ways since last year that i've been shown a different way of living life. it has fascinated me, and i want to get moving and try to do some of those things. i already have in some ways, but i need to stop being lazy.
i've been taking a human rights class. it's pretty heavy, but i think it's necessary to be educated in these things. not just for the sake of education, but perhaps to help keep history from repeating itself. so that's one thing i've been interested in educating myself more about: human rights.
since last year, i have learned a lot about food and seed companies and cows...it's all pretty tricky with food politics. really, a diet that would have the least impact on the earth and that does not give so much money to corporate doodie heads is a vegetarian diet. this would be very difficult for me to change in my life. 1) i really like food, 2) i really like eating out, which makes it harder for vegetarians, and 3) i like meat. so, i think i would like to read more about food politics and change my diet as a result. need to read: diet for a small planet; animal, vegetable, miracle; books on gardening.
i've learned a lot about our effect on the environment. as a result, i have learned about natural cleaners, and have been using them. i also use organic soaps. however, i need to learn how to put ingredients together to make a natural scrub, with baking soda. i was also going to experiment with making a laundry detergent. need to make: scrub, laundry detergent. need to inform people (and get more informed) about the dangers of using regular cleaners and soaps. also, besides cleaners, i need to be more educated about alternate forms of transportation besides driving a car. i know a little about fixing my bike, but not much. i also know little about taking good routes to get from one place to another, so I should look them up. then, the final step is to not be so lazy and BIKE the route.
i've been educating myself on politics and how Jesus would look at things. there are a lot of things i want to learn more about, and i would also like to learn more about ways i can help. want to learn about: darfur, child soldiers (read A Long Way Gone), abortion, human trafficking, sweatshop workers, coffee farmers.
i just want to read a lot more, period! so much to learn and read. i learned how to knit this week. i want to eventually learn how to sew. it'd be cool to make my own stuff.
more on this later.
i've been taking a human rights class. it's pretty heavy, but i think it's necessary to be educated in these things. not just for the sake of education, but perhaps to help keep history from repeating itself. so that's one thing i've been interested in educating myself more about: human rights.
since last year, i have learned a lot about food and seed companies and cows...it's all pretty tricky with food politics. really, a diet that would have the least impact on the earth and that does not give so much money to corporate doodie heads is a vegetarian diet. this would be very difficult for me to change in my life. 1) i really like food, 2) i really like eating out, which makes it harder for vegetarians, and 3) i like meat. so, i think i would like to read more about food politics and change my diet as a result. need to read: diet for a small planet; animal, vegetable, miracle; books on gardening.
i've learned a lot about our effect on the environment. as a result, i have learned about natural cleaners, and have been using them. i also use organic soaps. however, i need to learn how to put ingredients together to make a natural scrub, with baking soda. i was also going to experiment with making a laundry detergent. need to make: scrub, laundry detergent. need to inform people (and get more informed) about the dangers of using regular cleaners and soaps. also, besides cleaners, i need to be more educated about alternate forms of transportation besides driving a car. i know a little about fixing my bike, but not much. i also know little about taking good routes to get from one place to another, so I should look them up. then, the final step is to not be so lazy and BIKE the route.
i've been educating myself on politics and how Jesus would look at things. there are a lot of things i want to learn more about, and i would also like to learn more about ways i can help. want to learn about: darfur, child soldiers (read A Long Way Gone), abortion, human trafficking, sweatshop workers, coffee farmers.
i just want to read a lot more, period! so much to learn and read. i learned how to knit this week. i want to eventually learn how to sew. it'd be cool to make my own stuff.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
a new day
wow. God is faithful.
so, as it turns out, not only was God working on bitterness in my heart, but He was doing the same for my friend. for a while now, she has been coming to the cell group that i had been a part of for the last year or so. at first, it gave me a bit of anxiety, because i thought that she more or less despised me (perhaps with good reason). she showed up at the group, and i thought she wouldn't return (because as it turned out, it was a miscommunication on our leaders' part, inviting her and forgetting that i would be there, and that we had issues with each other). i was unsure what to feel in my own heart, and i wavered back-and-forth between wanting her to be there and also not wanting her there because of the distractedness, pain, and anxiety her presence caused. the next tuesday, she didn't return--and i'll admit i was a bit relieved. the tuesday after that she returned again, and i determined in my heart that i was not going to keep her from coming (because the leader said i had been coming first, so he would ask her to not come if i was uncomfortable). for a couple weeks, the comfort level started to rise between us, although i still knew (and know) that a safe distance was needed. a few tuesdays ago, we finally apologized to one another, with her initiating. it was a wonderful thing, to get to say the things i was sorry for that i didn't get to before, and hearing the words from her lips that i'd never thought i'd hear. one thing that had been hurting my heart was that we needed to be united in the Body of Christ; that we are indeed sisters in the Body of Christ. we totally agreed on that point, that even if we can't be friends, we can at least be united to do something good for God's kingdom. perhaps i am still undeserving of her apology, of this grace i've received from her. for that i am grateful, and this grace could have only been bestowed on me through her by God. i need to be careful about my actions and desires. Lord, please guide me and help me produce trustworthy fruit. don't let me get distracted by her presence at cell group. help us to build one another up to Your glory, Lord Jesus. Amen.
so, as it turns out, not only was God working on bitterness in my heart, but He was doing the same for my friend. for a while now, she has been coming to the cell group that i had been a part of for the last year or so. at first, it gave me a bit of anxiety, because i thought that she more or less despised me (perhaps with good reason). she showed up at the group, and i thought she wouldn't return (because as it turned out, it was a miscommunication on our leaders' part, inviting her and forgetting that i would be there, and that we had issues with each other). i was unsure what to feel in my own heart, and i wavered back-and-forth between wanting her to be there and also not wanting her there because of the distractedness, pain, and anxiety her presence caused. the next tuesday, she didn't return--and i'll admit i was a bit relieved. the tuesday after that she returned again, and i determined in my heart that i was not going to keep her from coming (because the leader said i had been coming first, so he would ask her to not come if i was uncomfortable). for a couple weeks, the comfort level started to rise between us, although i still knew (and know) that a safe distance was needed. a few tuesdays ago, we finally apologized to one another, with her initiating. it was a wonderful thing, to get to say the things i was sorry for that i didn't get to before, and hearing the words from her lips that i'd never thought i'd hear. one thing that had been hurting my heart was that we needed to be united in the Body of Christ; that we are indeed sisters in the Body of Christ. we totally agreed on that point, that even if we can't be friends, we can at least be united to do something good for God's kingdom. perhaps i am still undeserving of her apology, of this grace i've received from her. for that i am grateful, and this grace could have only been bestowed on me through her by God. i need to be careful about my actions and desires. Lord, please guide me and help me produce trustworthy fruit. don't let me get distracted by her presence at cell group. help us to build one another up to Your glory, Lord Jesus. Amen.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
change: part II
Gosh, I'm not very good with this blog thing. Well, I never really got to finish my last post, so I think I'll try to do that. I think I'll also elaborate on some of the parts of the last post, as things have changed a tiny bit.
4. Heart. I'm not sure if my heart has changed all that much in regards to the Lord and how I am letting Him work in my life. But I definitely feel that I have a more clear understanding of how I wronged my friend and that I am totally unworthy of whatever friendship I hoped to have with her. I talked to people about the situation more than I should have, and, even though it wasn't out of spite (because I didn't go into details with everyone, and also I explained to people that she was justified in her actions), but rather out of trying to process things, I suppose part of it was done in a manner of attention-getting, which is immature. I definitely appreciate how people helped me process the wrongs I committed against her, but I understand that discussing it put her in a position of being embarrassed. Lord God, please forgive me for how I wronged her. I guess I feel like there were ways in which she could have handled the situation more maturely, but I see that I myself didn't handle everything in a mature manner. I was just hoping we could be cool, ya know? I just want everything to be cool...that we could all just be civil. I wanna talk more on this later, but for now, I'll focus on other matters of the heart. One thing that I have learned by being Dana's friend is that I shouldn't care so much what people think of me. And if people don't like me, that's their loss and they're not worth my time. I feel a lot more at peace...although still easily concerned with pleasing people, I think that when they're dissatisfied, I care less now than I would have before. Maybe I haven't changed all that much, but a tiny step in the right direction is still important for growth. I pray, though, that I can move toward learning about God and His Will...what that is supposed to look like in my life. I have a feeling that I am quite selfish in how I use my time, and that is something that He is probably going to have to show me how to change.
Notes on Civility: I just wanted to say that it really broad-sided me when my friend that I hurt, before she left for a mission trip, came and said hello to me at the Coffee Pub. I was sitting there talking to Katherine Hobby, outside at one of those tables. I knew she was inside, but when I went to get my coffee, I just didn't even acknowledge her. She was with a lady from church and the lady's recently newborn baby. I got my coffee and decided that sitting outside may be best for this sort of situation. I was having a lovely time with Kobby, and I figured that the friend would probably just walk through the building to the parking lot in the back. But she didn't. She came by our table, and as kind of a last-second decision, I gave a little wave goodbye when she noticed me. I almost immediately regretted the decision because I felt really awkward about it, but she came over and spoke. I was kind of amused because the first words out of her mouth were: "Hey. I haven't seen you in a while..." Um, yeah. Probably because we've been mutually avoiding one another, I thought. I replied something like, "Well, ya know, I've just been...runnin' around I guess." I had missed going to their spring break mission talk, even though I kinda wanted to go to support another friend who went on the trip...but I figured it may be too painful for me to sit in on that kind of thing, so I didn't go. We talked about that for a moment, and she said I should get together with the other girl for coffee or something. I agreed. She said, "Ya know I'm going on my mission trip in 12 days..." I said, "Yeah, that's right..." and we may have said something else. Basically, I ended saying, "Well, I definitely pray for you while you're down there." I don't remember if she thanked me or not, and she may have even said something like, "Good to see you," or something like that. I was so blind-sided that I said something to Kobby about it when she was gone. And Kobby said, "Anna, you're worthy." I'm almost positive that's what she said...I was hoping I'd never forget that. I did pray for her, with my whole heart. I hope it went well for her and that she made wonderful headway for God's Kingdom.
I think I'll need to make a new post to talk more about this summer and how I want to elaborate on #3: Friends.
4. Heart. I'm not sure if my heart has changed all that much in regards to the Lord and how I am letting Him work in my life. But I definitely feel that I have a more clear understanding of how I wronged my friend and that I am totally unworthy of whatever friendship I hoped to have with her. I talked to people about the situation more than I should have, and, even though it wasn't out of spite (because I didn't go into details with everyone, and also I explained to people that she was justified in her actions), but rather out of trying to process things, I suppose part of it was done in a manner of attention-getting, which is immature. I definitely appreciate how people helped me process the wrongs I committed against her, but I understand that discussing it put her in a position of being embarrassed. Lord God, please forgive me for how I wronged her. I guess I feel like there were ways in which she could have handled the situation more maturely, but I see that I myself didn't handle everything in a mature manner. I was just hoping we could be cool, ya know? I just want everything to be cool...that we could all just be civil. I wanna talk more on this later, but for now, I'll focus on other matters of the heart. One thing that I have learned by being Dana's friend is that I shouldn't care so much what people think of me. And if people don't like me, that's their loss and they're not worth my time. I feel a lot more at peace...although still easily concerned with pleasing people, I think that when they're dissatisfied, I care less now than I would have before. Maybe I haven't changed all that much, but a tiny step in the right direction is still important for growth. I pray, though, that I can move toward learning about God and His Will...what that is supposed to look like in my life. I have a feeling that I am quite selfish in how I use my time, and that is something that He is probably going to have to show me how to change.
Notes on Civility: I just wanted to say that it really broad-sided me when my friend that I hurt, before she left for a mission trip, came and said hello to me at the Coffee Pub. I was sitting there talking to Katherine Hobby, outside at one of those tables. I knew she was inside, but when I went to get my coffee, I just didn't even acknowledge her. She was with a lady from church and the lady's recently newborn baby. I got my coffee and decided that sitting outside may be best for this sort of situation. I was having a lovely time with Kobby, and I figured that the friend would probably just walk through the building to the parking lot in the back. But she didn't. She came by our table, and as kind of a last-second decision, I gave a little wave goodbye when she noticed me. I almost immediately regretted the decision because I felt really awkward about it, but she came over and spoke. I was kind of amused because the first words out of her mouth were: "Hey. I haven't seen you in a while..." Um, yeah. Probably because we've been mutually avoiding one another, I thought. I replied something like, "Well, ya know, I've just been...runnin' around I guess." I had missed going to their spring break mission talk, even though I kinda wanted to go to support another friend who went on the trip...but I figured it may be too painful for me to sit in on that kind of thing, so I didn't go. We talked about that for a moment, and she said I should get together with the other girl for coffee or something. I agreed. She said, "Ya know I'm going on my mission trip in 12 days..." I said, "Yeah, that's right..." and we may have said something else. Basically, I ended saying, "Well, I definitely pray for you while you're down there." I don't remember if she thanked me or not, and she may have even said something like, "Good to see you," or something like that. I was so blind-sided that I said something to Kobby about it when she was gone. And Kobby said, "Anna, you're worthy." I'm almost positive that's what she said...I was hoping I'd never forget that. I did pray for her, with my whole heart. I hope it went well for her and that she made wonderful headway for God's Kingdom.
I think I'll need to make a new post to talk more about this summer and how I want to elaborate on #3: Friends.
Monday, June 30, 2008
change
I had written a post a week or so ago and i never finished it...i guess i didn't save the changes. Bummer.
Well, this summer has turned out to be pretty good. I had been disappointed because I had made all these plans to move to Orlando and the plans kinda backfired. But it just goes to show that God knows exactly what He's doing. I think I still have a long way to go before I'm where I need to be in my relationship with Him, but I think Orlando would have ended up being a bad move. For one thing, it probably would have been difficult to not rely on Kirstin for help getting adjusted and to have support when I'm feeling sad about missing my friends. I love Kirstin, but she's kinda all over the place (actually a lot like me, a bit scattered and running around having fun), so it'd be hard to nail her down to build a relationship with her and learn about cool places to hang out from her.
Ok, from this point, I'm going to list ways this summer has been different.
1) Living situation: I have been living with Lani and Renee Peck, and two guys, Jacob and Jason. Lani is a pastor, and he is really intense. He doesn't sugar-coat things, and just really puts the truth out there. He has a lot of experience and like, 30 years on me, and that most of the time proves to be very helpful. But I think it also hinders him (and not just him, but a lot of older people) in that they are set in their ways of viewing things and so put things in black or white categories when it's not always that simple. However, I believe he has a lot of good advice to give, and I need to take more of what he's said to heart. Lord, help me not to be so stubborn! But I just decided that I'll not be living there in the fall. I'm moving in with Jessica Cooksey and another girl I don't know, Natalie Huggins. They were both in the nursing program, so I would see them at HESI testing time, but I also know Jessica from Four Oaks. It's this really cute house that I've been to before (I think Meghan Dill lives there now) a couple years ago when Rachel Rust lived there. Jessica is a real sweetheart, and although the rent isn't very cheap, it'll be fun.
2) Job and activities. This summer, I've been able to do a lot of what I love in regards to music. For one thing (and probably the most exciting thing), I became a DJ for V89!! That is absolutely a dream come true. It's kinda crummy because I have to do the 2am-6am shift Thursday morning and stagger into work at 8am the same day. But it's totally worth it! I've also continued to volunteer with PR, so I've pretty much been to every jazz night this semester. And that has been especially wonderful, because I've danced my socks off with Dana De Greff at a couple of the jazz nights. Actually, my job hasn't really changed...but it may change at the end of July because Bonnie is retiring, and I think I will be moved to the back of the office to help Brian with Distance Learning. But Kelli said she would kick my ass if I was still working here when she got back to school in the fall...lol. Well, we'll see if I get a new job.
3) Friends. This summer's group of friends is very different from last summer, obviously (and unfortunately). But the group of friends that I have been spending time with is just as wonderful as what I had last summer. I've gotten to know people at Colleen Corner very well this past year, so I feel very blessed to be friends with them (Leah, Meredith, Christi, and until May, Lauren). I wish that I could've seen more of Kari, but she just recently left to study in Ireland. I've been getting to know Scott better, and hanging out with D1 at Campus View(Scott, Brian, Mike, and Josh) pretty often...I've also been hanging with Tim and Ana when I get the chance. The most recent and surprising addition to my friends has been Dana De Greff, who I think is so cool that I'm surprised she wants to be my friend! I knew her pretty well because of Lauren Stafford, but I had never really hung out with her on an individual basis. So we've been doing a few potlucks together, we went on a bike ride, danced at jazz night, and a few other things. This weekend we are taking a trip up to Asheville to go see Lauren! Dude, I'm sooo psyched because, a) I get to go on a road trip w Dana, b) I get to see Lauren, c) I get to see Chris, and d) I get to see Asheville (which I've never visited before)! I've done a few fun V89 things too, which have been great!
4) Heart.
Well, this summer has turned out to be pretty good. I had been disappointed because I had made all these plans to move to Orlando and the plans kinda backfired. But it just goes to show that God knows exactly what He's doing. I think I still have a long way to go before I'm where I need to be in my relationship with Him, but I think Orlando would have ended up being a bad move. For one thing, it probably would have been difficult to not rely on Kirstin for help getting adjusted and to have support when I'm feeling sad about missing my friends. I love Kirstin, but she's kinda all over the place (actually a lot like me, a bit scattered and running around having fun), so it'd be hard to nail her down to build a relationship with her and learn about cool places to hang out from her.
Ok, from this point, I'm going to list ways this summer has been different.
1) Living situation: I have been living with Lani and Renee Peck, and two guys, Jacob and Jason. Lani is a pastor, and he is really intense. He doesn't sugar-coat things, and just really puts the truth out there. He has a lot of experience and like, 30 years on me, and that most of the time proves to be very helpful. But I think it also hinders him (and not just him, but a lot of older people) in that they are set in their ways of viewing things and so put things in black or white categories when it's not always that simple. However, I believe he has a lot of good advice to give, and I need to take more of what he's said to heart. Lord, help me not to be so stubborn! But I just decided that I'll not be living there in the fall. I'm moving in with Jessica Cooksey and another girl I don't know, Natalie Huggins. They were both in the nursing program, so I would see them at HESI testing time, but I also know Jessica from Four Oaks. It's this really cute house that I've been to before (I think Meghan Dill lives there now) a couple years ago when Rachel Rust lived there. Jessica is a real sweetheart, and although the rent isn't very cheap, it'll be fun.
2) Job and activities. This summer, I've been able to do a lot of what I love in regards to music. For one thing (and probably the most exciting thing), I became a DJ for V89!! That is absolutely a dream come true. It's kinda crummy because I have to do the 2am-6am shift Thursday morning and stagger into work at 8am the same day. But it's totally worth it! I've also continued to volunteer with PR, so I've pretty much been to every jazz night this semester. And that has been especially wonderful, because I've danced my socks off with Dana De Greff at a couple of the jazz nights. Actually, my job hasn't really changed...but it may change at the end of July because Bonnie is retiring, and I think I will be moved to the back of the office to help Brian with Distance Learning. But Kelli said she would kick my ass if I was still working here when she got back to school in the fall...lol. Well, we'll see if I get a new job.
3) Friends. This summer's group of friends is very different from last summer, obviously (and unfortunately). But the group of friends that I have been spending time with is just as wonderful as what I had last summer. I've gotten to know people at Colleen Corner very well this past year, so I feel very blessed to be friends with them (Leah, Meredith, Christi, and until May, Lauren). I wish that I could've seen more of Kari, but she just recently left to study in Ireland. I've been getting to know Scott better, and hanging out with D1 at Campus View(Scott, Brian, Mike, and Josh) pretty often...I've also been hanging with Tim and Ana when I get the chance. The most recent and surprising addition to my friends has been Dana De Greff, who I think is so cool that I'm surprised she wants to be my friend! I knew her pretty well because of Lauren Stafford, but I had never really hung out with her on an individual basis. So we've been doing a few potlucks together, we went on a bike ride, danced at jazz night, and a few other things. This weekend we are taking a trip up to Asheville to go see Lauren! Dude, I'm sooo psyched because, a) I get to go on a road trip w Dana, b) I get to see Lauren, c) I get to see Chris, and d) I get to see Asheville (which I've never visited before)! I've done a few fun V89 things too, which have been great!
4) Heart.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
squelching bitterness
So more drama has happened, and I think it is easy for me to wallow in self-pity and think about all the things that aren't working instead of being grateful for the things that are good. I think I will take a moment to thank God for the things that make me happy and the things that are good in my life.
Thank you, Most Merciful Father, for:
-a family that loves me
-living with the Pecks and having a second family
-Colleen Corner--all the lovely ladies that live there and love me
-dancing with Dana, Lauren, and Kirstin
-Krishna lunch
-the Coffee Pub
-being able to hang out with the scanners to do SPOT
-new friends
-InterVarsity Christian Fellowship
-Wednesday night cell group
-Monday night prayer group
-Four Oaks--music ministry, Sunday worship, fellowship group
-getting to play djembe for Kris Braun
-drinking tea with Kari and playing Rock Band with Josh and David
-good coffee and loose-leaf tea
-God's Word and wise people around me to help interpret it
-good officemates
-affectionate friends
-encouragers in my life: Becky, Leah, Carla, Scott, Tim, Ana, Steve, Karin, Claire, Emily
-fun banter with Steve on gmail chat
-people from which to glean spiritual wisdom: Lois, Scott, David, Maiken, Crispy (Christi), Leah, Paul Harlacher, Jacob, Lani, Renee, Chrissy, Carrie Campbell, Josh, Tim
-puns and Chrissy Brown's humor!
-friends who've sent me letters/postcards/emails
-people with a sweet spirit: Deni, Claire, Carrie Willis, Maiken, Meredith
-older friends that give me a more mature perspective on life
-MUSIC
-chocolate, especially gifts of chocolate
-a job that helps me pay the bills and covers medical expenses
-lots of positive influences in my life so that there's no need to focus on the negative ones
-the Landis ladies (despite the lack of contact)
-surprises
-acting crazy with Emily and Lauren
Lord, I could go on and on. Help me to have a heart that is thankful for the things You have given me, and take away the heart that is bitter about things You have taken away. I know that You work all things for the best because You love me. Lord give me moderation and self-control. Help me to love those things but to honor You above all. I praise You for making me the way I am, and I ask Your forgiveness for not always loving myself, which is Your creation. I praise You, Lord God. Amen.
Thank you, Most Merciful Father, for:
-a family that loves me
-living with the Pecks and having a second family
-Colleen Corner--all the lovely ladies that live there and love me
-dancing with Dana, Lauren, and Kirstin
-Krishna lunch
-the Coffee Pub
-being able to hang out with the scanners to do SPOT
-new friends
-InterVarsity Christian Fellowship
-Wednesday night cell group
-Monday night prayer group
-Four Oaks--music ministry, Sunday worship, fellowship group
-getting to play djembe for Kris Braun
-drinking tea with Kari and playing Rock Band with Josh and David
-good coffee and loose-leaf tea
-God's Word and wise people around me to help interpret it
-good officemates
-affectionate friends
-encouragers in my life: Becky, Leah, Carla, Scott, Tim, Ana, Steve, Karin, Claire, Emily
-fun banter with Steve on gmail chat
-people from which to glean spiritual wisdom: Lois, Scott, David, Maiken, Crispy (Christi), Leah, Paul Harlacher, Jacob, Lani, Renee, Chrissy, Carrie Campbell, Josh, Tim
-puns and Chrissy Brown's humor!
-friends who've sent me letters/postcards/emails
-people with a sweet spirit: Deni, Claire, Carrie Willis, Maiken, Meredith
-older friends that give me a more mature perspective on life
-MUSIC
-chocolate, especially gifts of chocolate
-a job that helps me pay the bills and covers medical expenses
-lots of positive influences in my life so that there's no need to focus on the negative ones
-the Landis ladies (despite the lack of contact)
-surprises
-acting crazy with Emily and Lauren
Lord, I could go on and on. Help me to have a heart that is thankful for the things You have given me, and take away the heart that is bitter about things You have taken away. I know that You work all things for the best because You love me. Lord give me moderation and self-control. Help me to love those things but to honor You above all. I praise You for making me the way I am, and I ask Your forgiveness for not always loving myself, which is Your creation. I praise You, Lord God. Amen.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Breakfast on the Road
Breakfast on the Road by Dr. Sandy Shugart
While I linger at the corner table
Savoring the last of the lukewarm coffee
Dark and sweet as the Miami night that
Only just surrendered to the morning
Feeling no great compulsion to any activity
My neighbor lands in a rush of readiness
Luggage, newspapers, all-American breakfast in hand
Half perched on the seat, ready to spring, at what signal?
He whips his oatmeal into alertness
Downs juice like a whiskey shot
Prowling the paper, shooting caffeine
Scanning the crowd, sizing up
The other predators
Stretching before the wilderness of work
Then he's gone
Almost before he could leave an impression
In the seat
Only crumbs and hastily paid bill remain
To track his passing
And I, still watching from my dish-cluttered blind
Eye the indifferent staff who wonder
When the table will turn
While I linger at the corner table
Savoring the last of the lukewarm coffee
Dark and sweet as the Miami night that
Only just surrendered to the morning
Feeling no great compulsion to any activity
My neighbor lands in a rush of readiness
Luggage, newspapers, all-American breakfast in hand
Half perched on the seat, ready to spring, at what signal?
He whips his oatmeal into alertness
Downs juice like a whiskey shot
Prowling the paper, shooting caffeine
Scanning the crowd, sizing up
The other predators
Stretching before the wilderness of work
Then he's gone
Almost before he could leave an impression
In the seat
Only crumbs and hastily paid bill remain
To track his passing
And I, still watching from my dish-cluttered blind
Eye the indifferent staff who wonder
When the table will turn
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)