so i was walking and thinking at lunch today about identity because of a conversation i had with my friend yesterday. he was talking about how he is looking to date a Christian "woman", not a Christian "girl". just to clarify, we weren't having the conversation about our relationship--we're just friends. anyway, i wasn't offended, 1) because he wasn't talking about me, and 2) because I can see exactly what he means by the difference between a Christian woman and a Christian girl. i think there are ways in which i am a Christian woman, but in most ways i am still a Christian girl, and that disappoints me. there are a few things that i think shows a female Christian has moved from girl to woman, so lemme see if i can get a list going and put my thoughts in order.
what do i think a "woman of God" looks like?
1) identity in Christ
dude, i admit that i am soooo not there yet. first of all, i wanted to ask myself what exactly it means to have your identity in Christ. what comes to mind is having all of your life oriented toward Him. no matter what, you know where you can put your trust. if you're feeling upset about your shortcomings, you look to Christ and you see that He has overcome them. every time you have a decision to make, you bring it to Him. you have confidence in who you are because you are a child of God, and through Christ He has given you the Holy Spirit.
2) own Identity
i'm not sure if this is truly a trait that describes a Christian woman, but it seems to me that a reason that i'm not quite a Christian woman is the fact that i often put my identity in others. wow, that's really hard to put that out there. i so much want to love those that are in my life, and they influence what i do and how i am because i highly respect them. i think that they can have their identity in Christ and still have their own way of expressing themselves, and so that's how they have their own identity too. i know i will have great difficulty extricating myself from the people that influence me. i pray that you would help me grow, Lord Jesus, so that i can know what things i want to do because i want to do them and because you have called me to do them.
3) saturated in God's Word
i'm pretty far behind in this area, but the Lord is giving me a heart for His Word, and that is exciting.
4) constantly seeking the Lord in prayer
God, thank you for giving me more of a desire to pray. i feel especially encouraged by the missionaries that i receive updates from, because their prayer requests remind me to be in constant prayer, especially for those that don't know You. Lord, may it be that i'm reminded to pray without ceasing during the day about everything that i encounter.
5) Seeking accountability in discipleship
this is something i need to pray more about. i discussed it with cassidy, and am hoping to have someone from my fellowship group to be my mentor.
6) worshipful and pure heart
Lord Jesus, it is only through you that i can have righteousness and purity. thank you for the work that was done on the cross to make me pure before the Father. i need to live like you have purified my heart, because i still live with blackness in it. may your Spirit move me to repentance, that my heart may be regenerated and pure.
7) good work ethic
just going by what proverbs 31 is saying. there's a lot there with working with her hands. i think i need to make sure that i'm working my hardest and not "eat[ing] the bread of idleness".
8) opens arms to the poor
this is another area where i am so selfish and constantly worried about my own issues that i never put time and effort into helping the poor. Lord, change me! set my heart right! forgive my selfish tendencies and show me how to use my time for others, and i will do my best to do good for them (without grumbling, God-willing!).
