narf part II

Crap. I always forget about this thing. But I know that no one reads it anyways.

Well, the conversation I had with Joe about Evolution vs. Christianity was very difficult. I don't think I brought it up, because I HATE confrontation. So, he just said a lot of crap and kept saying "I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm just telling you the truth about what I think", but I think he WAS being a jerk because he knew what I believed (and, actually believed it himself at one point). He just kept saying that he thought Christianity was stupid, and that if there was a God out there, He was going to have to show Himself to him because he doesn't see any evidence that He's there.

Ya know what I think though? I think that he just wants to do whatever he wants to do; that he doesn't want to bow. I think that he doesn't want to believe that he needs a savior, that there is someone that he has to consider lord other than himself. He just wants to be lord of his own life. He has all these grandiose ideas about himself, he thinks he is doing great things and becoming really successful. But I think that his success will be fleeting because it is all about him and he doesn't care about others. And I think he has real trust issues, because we talked about what is said in the Bible about "eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth", and I said, "But Jesus told us to take it to the next level and 'if your brother strikes you on the cheek, turn to him the other; and if he takes your cloak, do not refuse him your tunic,' etc." He then replied that he would never do that because "I will never let anyone hurt me again." Granted, he had a terrible childhood, and I can understand his sentiments. But it just seems like he has put a guard up that does not need to be there--he is paranoid of a threat that doesn't exist! No one is out to get him! I pray that he will be able to speak to his counselor and work through that mentality of "i will never be hurt again". Because unless you are a robot, people are going to hurt your feelings and take from you and lie to you. I guess I feel like I just don't matter that much in the whole scheme of things...so I don't feel like it is a good use of my time trying to make sure that no one will ever hurt me. If someone tries to hurt me, it's not like I won't put up a defense. But to be concerned all the time that "I must make sure that I will never be hurt again--no one will ever take advantage of me!" seems like it is just a waste of time and energy. I find my identity in Christ, and I don't need self-justification. Although I have to die to myself daily (oh, Lord help me to do this!), I die to my need to defend who I am and justify my actions. I pray that this would be true for me, always.